Karin Janin & Horses of Wisdom Presents MY STORY:

Single Something

In the beginning

Rags to Riches

Unconditional Love

Grief

New Life/New Adventure

College Days

New Cup

Single Something

Dreams DO Come True

More on Dreams

More on Dreams

Future Projects

In The News

Honored Orphans

Story of Elijah

 

 
Relationships
I continued to enter relationsihps that were emotionally abusive. It seemed I was quite comfortable with that type of relationship. It took a while to realize the pattern I had developed. 

On a more positive note, I did have a few good relationships which I am grateful for.


Name Change
When I was adopted, my name was changed from Karin Janin to Karen Ruth. Years later, I decided to formally go back to the original spelling of my first and middle name. I went to the library, photo copied a change of name form, keyed it into the computer, made an appointment with a judge, and within minutes I was back to my original name.

I had no idea why I felt it necessary to do this, but that night I had a painfully revealing dream explaining what had happened to me while I was in the orphanage.

The dream narrator showed me a picture of myself during those early years. It was a distorted picture of a child who had been physically abused and was very, very frightened. Then the dream narrator said "this was what happened to you - this was you."

I woke up feeling a great relief that some of my past had been revealed for I had always wondered what those first four years of my life were like. I spent the day crying, releasing and crying more. I couldn't stop crying. I believe that was the most significant dream I've ever had. That day I was able to let go of the past forever. I was no longer angry - I understood the significance of the dream. The past is over - all we have is the present and future.


Rape
Life was pretty tough for me both financially and emotionally. The one thought I maintained throughout those difficult years, was that I had three children who needed me. Then the one thing I thought would never happen to me, did.

I was raped by a man who had raped seven women within a month. He had been in prison for the same crime, and released on good behavior due to overcrowding of prisons. To this day, I remember every moment of that rape - I was so afraid. He held me at knife point, and I saw my life flash in front of me. I remember thinking about wanting to see my children - praying to God that I would not be taken from them. The rapist left as quickly as he came and I was left in shock. About a week later he was caught and sent back to jail, this time for life. I was raped - violated. Gratefully, I've had time to process this experience, to mentally forgive him for raping me and forgive myself for feeling like it was my fault, as if I deserved it.

If you've ever been raped, seek emotional help through a therapist and/or support groups. Don't handle this alone!

NEXT: Dreams DO Come True

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